MR&MRS BEACH PEACH, THE BEACH HUT, PORTISHEAD, BRISTOLS

Dear Jan & Steve, I am returning"TENEZ LE VRAYE" as to Y

Dear Jan & Steve,

Re: TENEZ LE VRAY MENDACITY O BURNLEY AND T' CONGO

I am returning "Tenez le Vray", here is why.

In your listing you described (as a selling point) his barklessness, and that this was one of his special features.  We prefer our basenjis to be barkless - after all that's what they don't!

Its why we started with the breed in the first place.

The Standard.  Revised at SGM Basenji Club, 24th June 1942, refers to: 

Movement.  Both hind legs and forelegs should be carried straight forward with swinging stride, greatly resembling that of a racehorse trotting full out, this swift tireless running gait being a special characteristic of the breed.

General Characteristics.  Basenji's do not bark.  The appearance should be one of springy poise and alertness, greatly resembling an antelope.  

Veronica Tudor Williams inspired and encouraged us of course, but it is the silence of the little beasties that we particularly enjoy. 

Butte - and its ae big butte.  We have never had so much as a sough out of TENEZ in all the time he's been here with Rus.

Our other basenjis yodle - and once ZAG - when he saw his first cow - managed a rather curious gurgling fark of a bart.

AS you can see from these recent snaps, he is not behaving normally - well normal for basenjis' behaviour - if we can stretch a point and call it that. 

Here's Zag (with a half wrapped Tenez) all shiny, inspecting our two new flags - thanks for them - we are very grateful - but flags is what we mostly make up here.  Rossendale forest flags, wi th' gold edgin, are all over Londinium you know.  Postage must have been a fortune.  Let us know before you send us another surprise.     

Now - the dog - we thought at first it was a matter of him settling in.

He is not,of  course, from the same side of the family as our ZAG (Zaccaria-I-Rus of the Congo Fula KWEKO Pudding ), or our FASI (UMFASI OF UMHA HA HA HE OF BOKOTO STORM ON T' NILE) and we thought at first that that was the problem.  We are beginning to have to take a different view.

We have taken some legal advice from our Mr Tins-TonsPollicks at Rawtenstalls Darker-Forest-in-Rossendale's  Pheasant Skinner Pollacks Pollacks & What and Sons (formerly of Bury Pudding Co. Ltd.), but apart from one or two of the notes in the margin - and a clear sentence about  'putting them in funds'  we can make neither head nor tail of a word they say - and we've made a will already. 

We tried to make sense of it with the firm next door, but their latin was not good and we seemed to be talking at cross purposes and going round in circles both at the same time.  In fact we got more sense from the clogger's shop across the road.

The question is:-  When can we have our money back?

We realise that he is exactly as you described him on eBay, but we feel that there are one or two of his special features which you left out.  Now, we realise that this may have been an oversight on your part but, nevertheless, we must insist that we have our monies returned.  You wouldn't want someone, maybe Rus, to make some hint about all this in your feedback, now or later - would you?

He's coming recorded. Dave insisted that we do that for vetinary/pet care reasons.

We've included pictures of the two bonus bogof snails you sent.  They have now settled in quite nicely.

The bottle you sent (turns out to be - not what we thought).

It's a reservoir from a Mark 4 Ford Escort (yes it is for sale and I suppose - yes - it would do both jobs quite well).

We've included a snap of one of the curved, pink, Burnley prawns, from that secret 'Golden Mile' lagoon behind Tesco that I told you about.  Yes, as you see it's next to a Clarets' Goal Miners Supporters' Rosette.  Yes, the quid is a reminder and its also for scale of course aswell as for sale.  You know very well VeronicaT-W's book is for sale.

I included the Burnley Beach Peach Stone (its one of those new Rolling ones.  Yes, I know I said I wouldn't tell and I won't - and your secret is still safe with me).

Yes, of course they are all for sale.  Yes, the rosettes are a quid.

Oh the funny name - oh!  They all have funny names but I think it came from an old Burnley family who were building a Cathedral or something and then t' mayor and all Burnley Council seemed to think it sounded like a cotton shuttle.  And it does too when you say it fast over and over again.  Any road up, they thought it was a good idea , so they adopted it - its all Greek to me but it has a nice ring to it.  Shout out - TENEZ LE VRAYE - sounds ok dont it!

Anyway up, I thought if its good enough for Burnley Council, its good enough for our new dog.

Oh, the butterflies - before I forget.  They've gone into the larvae stage, so who knows when we'll see them again - the lettuce they shifted was something awesome.  You'll have to get some more - its a Bristol Butterfly right?

Oh and, next week we're going to Blackpool North Pier to see Billy Fury - good eh?        

Oh! and that dog's been making smells!  Yes, I know they all do that - but these are a tad bit special - well Dave says he thinks its the dog anyway.

All the breast and best Regards from your bestest friends always,  Gladis Rus-Tea. J5889. Ini. Zag. Faz. Baz. Snails. & Daniboy. 

PS,  Zag says thanks, but he had me burn the charcoal biscuits you sent - and the suppositories - he says they were no use at all and for all the use they were, he might just as well shoved them up his..... 

 ....message ends - the end of the message is not terribly clear and neither is the address - beach or peach - something...   ...perhaps you can tell or at least make some sense of it from the photos we've sent you.

TENEZ IS 280 grams in his stocking tops and his greatest length is 32" (81cm) he comes to you with a label made out to you and your address.  He'll hang out in the Hall for hours - your visitors will be impressed - everyone will be talking about him and might even begin to point you out - but you'll get used to that.

footnote: item photo - of French Manufacture A Douzieme Guage measures mm

              item photo - NOT Janet Haigh Embroidery Kit to complete 

True: You are bidding or not on:-  A Pocket Sized Reminder Photo-Print of   TENEZ LE VRAYE