Career-driven and independent-minded, Lauren Slater charts her progress through the complex months leading up to, and through, motherhood. Never less than candid, she begins with the process of her decision to have a child. The cons list is long and includes 'less time for friends', 'less time for work', 'less money' and 'Prozac (I'm on it)'. The pros had only one entry: 'Learn a new kind of love.' But what will that love look like? As a psychologist herself and also one of the first people to take Prozac, Slater brings in an unusual double point of view to bear on a familiar story. Not only does she chronicle the conflicting advice surrounding the use of Prozac and other antidepressants during pregnancy, but also captures just what the experience of pregnancy is like.

Review:
Lauren's Slater's history of mental illness makes the journey through pregnancy a treacherous one for both herself and her unborn child. Having been relatively free from significant mental illness for ten years prior to the pregnancy, Lauren is plunged into depression in the early weeks by a surge in progesterone levels. She is forced to take high doses of psychiatric drugs and spends the entire pregnancy worrying about the effect of these medicines on the baby. Lauren is honest about her ambivalent attitude to motherhood. She is supported by her husband Jacob but even his understanding and unconditional commitment cannot allay her fears of descending into uncontrollable madness when the baby arrives. In the midst of this turbulence of emotions, Lauren attempts to analyse each stage of the pregnancy. Her literary ability makes this a stunningly incisive, brutally honest account. Written with a poet's subtle command of language, it is a finely tuned, highly charged account of an emotional rollercoaster. Lauren peels back the layers of life and examines closely and with honesty what she finds below the surface. Her observations are enriching, sharp and shocking. But ultimately this is a story of courage and faith - a belief that things can work out, against the odds. Above all, it is an exploration of love - of what it is, what it means and how it happens. 'Love grows... without any effort from the fine mind. Love grows despite you.' This is a tale of motherhood and love so rich in honesty, so poignantly and painfully told and ultimately so full of courage that the reader cannot fail to be moved. (Kirkus UK)

What the papers say:
'A remarkable achievement as riveting an account of its subject as you could hope to find' Rachel Cusk, Evening Standard 'The memoir is a stumbling, tentative journey into foreign territory, written with heart-stopping candour. I found that I wanted to be with her every step of the way hugely compelling' Glasgow Herald

Author's biography:
Lauren Slater is the author of: WELCOME TO MY COUNTRY, PROZAC DIARY, and has written articles and contributed pieces to THE NEW YORK TIMES, HARPER'S, ELLE and NERVE. Her essays are widely anthologised and she is a frequent guest on US radio shows, including 'This American Life and 'The People's Pharmacy' on NPR.