No Reserve and 1p Start

Here is an Auction for my 1993 SAAB 9000. This is one of the Pre-GM SAAB and therefore has the appearance and feel of being machined  from a piece of solid granite. These things are built to last and if looked after can rack up Galactic mileage. This one is Green with a Grey Velour interior. If you were an Mid Tier Exec in a toothpaste company then there is every possibility that you would have ended up with one of these beauties to assist you in your quest for white and red stripe fluoride utopia with a minty fresh taste. It has a 2 Litre, normally aspirated petrol 4 cylinder engine. This propels the old barge along at a rate of knots that is neither fair nor great. It is best described as sedate. Continents have been known to move quicker than this car. This is just as well as the brakes, whilst functional, are not fearsome by any stretch of the imagination. 6 Pot Brembo's they aint....They stop you, in the fullness of time. But then, so does dysentery. It has 141,??? miles on the clock and has a FULL SAAB DEALER SERVICE HISTORY. Yes FULL DEALER HISTORY. I cannot begin to reason why someone would service a car of this age at a Stealer but there you go. There is sheaf of paperwork with a plethora of invoices and MOT certificates for all those anoraks out there. I shall try to be as accurate as possible in this description so as to avoid disappointment....

Wheels, - It as some, 1 at each corner of the car, 1 in the boot and another one in front of the Driver. All of them (except the one that the driver uses) are shod with rubber and made of steel with silver plastic wheel trims on them (remember wheel trims, they were the things that were used in the late nineties to bling up your poverty spec cars before cheap Chinese and Indian Alloy Wheels became the order of the day), There is some tread on the ones at each corner and the 1 in the boot has plenty of tread on it. The one in front of the driver, when moved from left to right, changes the direction of the car. This is done in a fairly unhurried and relaxed manner. Think of a Subaru Impreza. Then think of the opposite end of the handling spectrum and you will be close.

Suspension, - Seems to be made from some form of Iron Girders. Not that this means that it is shot, it is just a design feature of the Sado Masochistic Swede designers at the time who preferred to powder your coccyx until you appreciated the comfort of the distinctive SAAB 'Tombstone' seats. The seats are excellent and go a long way to ensuring you do not spend protracted periods in traction. I have used this car to commute 100 miles per day for the past 12 months and my arse still appears to be fine. Big, but fine.

Drivetrain, - There are no erroneous noises coming from the Axles or Gearbox. Nothing remarkable to note in this regard. These components just go about their business in a rather unassuming manner. The cogs are swapped when you require it and the (ahem) 'power' is transmitted to the road wheels effectively if nothing else.

Bodywork, - There are a number of scrapes and scratches on the bodywork. There may also be a few small 'dings' but as none spring immediately to mind then I don't believe there are any that would be construed as a 'bash'. I am however, unsure where the demarcation lies between a Ding and Bash but I am happy to be educated. The doors all close in a a manner consistent with closing doors. as does the rear tailgate and the bonnet. Both the bonnet and the tailgate are held up by hydraulic struts. Wow.

Electrics, - Hmm, there is a trip 'Computer' Fascinating stuff really. If you press a little button on the granite dashboard small grey figures change on the display. I am unsure if these figures correlate in any with with any aspect of the vehicle's operation but they must have looked fairly impressive in 1993. There is a small 'Door Open' indicator on the dash. This shows when a door is open. Except in the case of the nearside rear door which is apparently always open, or so this errant light on the dashboard indicates. This is completely untrue as the door has been proven to be firmly shut, by simply turning your head and looking' yet the light maintains it illumination regardless. I sometimes feel a little sorry for this light, given that it's only role in life is to advise as to the status of the door and it fails so utterly completely in this regard. The radio works when it feels like it. Which is perhaps 50% of the time. It is particularly reluctant to listen to Radio 5 Live's 'Drive' program. I am unsure as to the reason for this. Perhaps it does not like Peter Allen, I simply don't know. I have found this to be a a little annoying at times but with a little Zen and patience I have learned to live with it.

Engine, - There is one as I have seen and heard it. Nothing really remarkable to talk about here. It is rather singular in carrying out it's function as a source of power to propel the car along and it carries out this task rather well. I have never had cause to complain to it or to have it looked at. I have looked at it from time to time and subsequently I have felt rather like I was intruding upon it's privacy and so I left it alone after that. It consumes Unleaded fuel at a fairly reasonable rate. given that this is a Non Turbocharged car, it is not particularly thirsty and as it is not renown for it's ability to hustle along at a fast pace then you can get a decent return at the pump. Just as well really given that Dick Turpin and his mates in Whitehall are determined to relive you of every one of you heard earned pennies when you fill up your car. So should you feel a burning desire to view this grand old barge then feel free to so do. I would recommend it is best done at a distance, in twilight and whilst wearing someone-else's glasses. It is not that it is a bad car, it is just that they can never be described as Pretty. Handsome at best.

Please remember, you are bidding to buy. Not to come an look, suck your teeth, shake your head and say things like ' I did not realise it had a dead slug lodged in the grille, I ain't buying it' Not that it has a dead slug in the grille, but I think you get my point.

Please call me on 07852 386838. I am based in Lancashire about 25 miles from Preston. Which is nice.

I accept Cash, Cash and, erm, Cash. Preferably when you come to pick up the car. Certainly not after.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CAR IS ADVERTISED LOCALLY I WILL REMOVE IT FROM THE AUCTION IF IT IS SOLD (OBVIOUSLY)

ALSO IF YOU HAVE NIL OR A PANTS FEEDBACK THEN GET IN TOUCH TO VERIFY YOUR BID. I DO NOT WANT TO BE MESSED AROUND BY JOKERS WHO FANTASISE ABOUT HAVING A LARGE GREEN SAAB BUT HAVE NO MEANS TO PURCHASE IT.